when talking about sleight of hand, I believe it is spelled "sleight." minor detail.
A question about your line breaks: Do these breaks come naturally, or are you forced to end a phrase for the sake of a certain rhythm? Most of your poems have a solid rhythm; this one seems to be a 3-count. Rhythm is necessary for poetry, but it is best when the reader isn't conscious of it.
There are a lot of clichès here, which draw away from the poem's originality.
I like the line "Once, and then again" because of the pause and how, as an individual line, it has power. BAM! it happened once, oh, wait, no! Twice.
2 comments:
This one works so well it made me angry again, lol in other words I relate.
when talking about sleight of hand, I believe it is spelled "sleight." minor detail.
A question about your line breaks:
Do these breaks come naturally, or are you forced to end a phrase for the sake of a certain rhythm? Most of your poems have a solid rhythm; this one seems to be a 3-count. Rhythm is necessary for poetry, but it is best when the reader isn't conscious of it.
There are a lot of clichès here, which draw away from the poem's originality.
I like the line "Once, and then again" because of the pause and how, as an individual line, it has power. BAM! it happened once, oh, wait, no! Twice.
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